If you had to be represented by an object in your home, what would you choose?
My map and my globe. Yes two objects, but really the same thing. There are so many places and parts of the world, just as there are so many different places and parts of me. The world is complicated. I am complicated. There are so many possibilities, so many places to go, and so many dreams to dream. There are so many options, so many unknowns. It creates stress and excitement but also calm and peace, just as my life ebbs and flows in these sorts of peaks and valleys. It is open and welcoming; while at the same time closed and menacing. The expanse of ocean covering the planet alone reminds me of the power of nature and how it cannot be controlled. It can only be respected, just as I experience this myself at times. A map of the world is full of life, ecstatic, but also sometimes able to bring you to tears. The world is so large, so vast; you look at the map and know you could easily become anonymous. Then again you could easily become a headline I suppose.
The large map and globe I have are definitely representative of me - at least the way I see it! I’m a complicated woman full of different bit s and parts. I think getting to know me is like traveling somewhere a little foreign…you know you’ll like me but you’re not too totally sure what to expect. Just as we can point on the map and then talk about where we pointed to, one could probably do the same with me. No doubt I am complicated, just as the world is. But I am also the ultimate dreamer, believing one day my dreams will come true…how can one not dream with all the options, possibilities and unknowns that float around in this world? My map of the world provides me with infinite dreaming, and a dreamer I am.
And well, finally, it just so really inspires the heck out of me to look at the world all laid out on a huge map that takes up my living room wall! (thanks again Michelle!!!!)
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Worst Experience
If you had to choose the worst experience you’ve ever had, what would you pick?
Well I can easily think of a whole bunch of bad experiences, some of them definitely ranking as possible number one worst experiences. One that stands out as surely as one of the worst is what I will just call “The Dead Body”. Now, I feel like I have seen my fair share of dead bodies, in different situations, for only being 37 years old. This one is definitely the worst of them all.
A number of years ago my friend Michelle was staying with me as she started a new job in Vancouver and was waiting to move into her own place downtown. I was off work on medical leave (yet again!). She left for her third day on the job while I watched morning TV. No sooner had she left and I received a hysterical call from her, saying I had to come down the 6th floor, she had met an old lady in the elevator who was saying she thought her son was dead. So down I go to find Michelle on the line with 911, a dead body face down in a pool of blood in the corner of the dining room and a very dazed old woman. One look and I knew this large man, was dead. I’ve seen dead bodies and I knew that the dark sticky blood and blue face meant this guy was not coming back.
However, 911 were telling us to roll him over and do CPR. Firstly, there was no way I was going to be able to turn this guy over on my own; Michelle was on the phone with 911 and freaking out about the whole situation and this guy’s poor mother (who looked tiny and frail) was in shock. Secondly I was really not inclined to give mouth to mouth with all that blood. However, since 911 were insisting, I tried to roll his dead weight body over, with no success. I relayed the situation to Michelle who relayed it to 911. I had no doubt this guy was dead and saw no point in continuing to try.
So now that we were there, we couldn’t just leave this poor lady who was starting to become upset, agitated and confused. 911 instructed us to stay until the paramedics arrived. It seemed like we were in that apartment forever before the paramedics arrived, dead body in the corner, trying to comfort his mother, who was now starting to believe he was still alive. At this point Michelle escaped off to work while I was left to look after this woman who had no family or friends nearby. So, on request of the paramedics (who confirmed immediately that yes, this guy was definitely no longer a part of the living) I was asked to take the lady to my place while they waited for the coroner and the emergency services crisis counselors or whatever they are called. So, up to my place we went where I made her some tea and provided what support I could until the counselors arrived. This whole scene lasted an entire morning.
The worst part of this experience wasn’t actually being in it in the moment (which was quite awful), but rather the image I was left with of this person, lying face down, blue face with that dark sticky blood pooled around his mouth and this woman who was in a state of shock and confusion. In the moment I can just react but afterwards the images of it all are what make it so horrible. This incident probably happened about 7 years ago, but to this day I can still see that lifeless body laying there, all the details of the scene intact in my memory as if it just happened yesterday.
Well I can easily think of a whole bunch of bad experiences, some of them definitely ranking as possible number one worst experiences. One that stands out as surely as one of the worst is what I will just call “The Dead Body”. Now, I feel like I have seen my fair share of dead bodies, in different situations, for only being 37 years old. This one is definitely the worst of them all.
A number of years ago my friend Michelle was staying with me as she started a new job in Vancouver and was waiting to move into her own place downtown. I was off work on medical leave (yet again!). She left for her third day on the job while I watched morning TV. No sooner had she left and I received a hysterical call from her, saying I had to come down the 6th floor, she had met an old lady in the elevator who was saying she thought her son was dead. So down I go to find Michelle on the line with 911, a dead body face down in a pool of blood in the corner of the dining room and a very dazed old woman. One look and I knew this large man, was dead. I’ve seen dead bodies and I knew that the dark sticky blood and blue face meant this guy was not coming back.
However, 911 were telling us to roll him over and do CPR. Firstly, there was no way I was going to be able to turn this guy over on my own; Michelle was on the phone with 911 and freaking out about the whole situation and this guy’s poor mother (who looked tiny and frail) was in shock. Secondly I was really not inclined to give mouth to mouth with all that blood. However, since 911 were insisting, I tried to roll his dead weight body over, with no success. I relayed the situation to Michelle who relayed it to 911. I had no doubt this guy was dead and saw no point in continuing to try.
So now that we were there, we couldn’t just leave this poor lady who was starting to become upset, agitated and confused. 911 instructed us to stay until the paramedics arrived. It seemed like we were in that apartment forever before the paramedics arrived, dead body in the corner, trying to comfort his mother, who was now starting to believe he was still alive. At this point Michelle escaped off to work while I was left to look after this woman who had no family or friends nearby. So, on request of the paramedics (who confirmed immediately that yes, this guy was definitely no longer a part of the living) I was asked to take the lady to my place while they waited for the coroner and the emergency services crisis counselors or whatever they are called. So, up to my place we went where I made her some tea and provided what support I could until the counselors arrived. This whole scene lasted an entire morning.
The worst part of this experience wasn’t actually being in it in the moment (which was quite awful), but rather the image I was left with of this person, lying face down, blue face with that dark sticky blood pooled around his mouth and this woman who was in a state of shock and confusion. In the moment I can just react but afterwards the images of it all are what make it so horrible. This incident probably happened about 7 years ago, but to this day I can still see that lifeless body laying there, all the details of the scene intact in my memory as if it just happened yesterday.
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