The Seven Deadly Sins

If you could practice only one of the principle vices henceforth, what would it be?

First of all, what are the principle vices anyways? Sex, drugs and rock and roll? Or are we talking about the so called Seven Deadly Sins – lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy and pride.

Well, let’s see. I don’t like to practice Envy, so cross that one out immediately. Wrath isn’t all that pretty on me either. Nix that one. I am way too Type A for Sloth, so forget that. Gluttony. What does that even encompass? According to Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary we’re talking about “excess in eating or drinking; greedy or excessive indulgence”. Hmmm. I do like that. Lust. Not sure I want to give up that. But is it the only vice I want to practice? Likewise with Pride. (Quite frankly, I don't even see how this is a vice!) And finally we have Greed. I personally think this is the way to go. Defined as “a selfish and excessive desire for more of something than is needed”, I figure Greed gives me the most leeway. Should I feel Envious, well, I think I’m covered by Greed. I definitely believe Greed will cover any Lust I may have. I feel I could stretch the meaning of Greed to include any Pride I may feel. Certainly it takes care of Gluttony – I mean that is pretty much defined by Greed. And I am fairly certain it covers Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll. Yes, Greed seems to be the best principle vice to practice, should one have to choose only one. And quite frankly, I’m already known to be a little greedy so why try to change my major vice at this point in life?

Sir John A. MacDonald

This lovely question was sent in by my father (you do know this is not what I had in mind, right dad?!!!)

If you had the opportunity to meet and interview the great grandson of Sir John A. MacDonald, Canada’s first prime minister, how would you proceed and what would you want to know?

Well, jeez, talk about a homework assignment here! Given that I’ve sort of blanked out much of my history lessons, I guess it would probably be prudent to brush up at little on Sir John before talking to his great grandson. I certainly wouldn’t want to look like I didn’t know much more than the fact that his great grandfather was our first Prime Minister, had a lot do with establishing the national railway, and I think was the key figure in our country’s confederation, although this is sadly about the extent of the knowledge I can conjure up off hand.

So, assuming I had done some research and had also figured out exactly how old this great grandson is himself (for the purposes of this exercise, using no calculations whatsoever, I am arbitrarily imputing an age of 80) I would suggest meeting at comfortable location of his choice. (Where does the 80-something crowd hang out these days?) After some pleasantries and trivial chit chat, I would get down to the questions. Which, by the way, were not easy to come up with. I mean, we’re not talking about a conversation with Sir John A. MacDonald himself, we’re talking about a chat with his great grandson. How much connection do any of us really have with our great grandparents, if any?

Anyways...Here are the questions I would pose:

Did you know him and if so, what memories do you have of him?

Is he your mother or father’s father? What kind of relationship did he/she have with him?

Were you curious about that part of your family history? What stories were passed down to you about your great grandfather by other members of your family?

What was it like to learn about your great grandfather through history books in school? Did the information taught in school match what you were told by your family?

Would you tell your classmates that you were related to him? Would they believe you?

Has being the great grandson of Sir John A. MacDonald impacted your life in any specific way?

Is there anything you can share about him that others can’t?

Whew! Back to answering the more important "what if" questions, like, "if you were granted one wish, what would it be?" (to be answered in a future post)

Burned Down House

If your home were to be destroyed by fire but you could save just one thing, what would it be?

Interesting question, as I know exactly what I would save and have actually recently been wanting to purchase a fireproof box for said items ( where do I go to buy said fireproof box anyways?) The most important and invaluable possession(s) I own are my journals. Containing my most private, innermost thoughts and feelings and providing a snapshot of sorts of my life to date…they are irreplaceable. Close to 15 years of writing is stored in a box, just waiting to be tied together into one ultimate journal – the best selling, award winning book I intend to pen. So, if I was going to survive the destruction of my home to fire, I would most definitely find it in me to haul out that box containing the stories of my life. Everything else is just stuff. Insurance covers that. Insurance cannot recreate the multitude of journals I have written. Yes, I would definitely get my journals out of my burned down home.


Now, i f I happen to die in said fire but my journals survive, I remind my friends (you know who you are) once again of their strict instructions to retrieve and burn journals first, mourn my death later.

Bye Bye Toothbrush

If you could cancel forever a single thing you have to do every day, other than your job, what would it be?

Okay, now I know this is going to disgust everyone, but it's a toss up between taking off my make up and brushing my teeth. And since I don't really HAVE to take off my make up, and I really do have to brush my teeth, and HATE teeth brushing the most, I'd have to give up teeth brushing. I hate the gag reflex I get every time I stick my toothbrush in my mouth, making me want to puke up the white foam building up between my cheeks. I hate the taste of toothpaste. (Can't they come up with something good for God's sake?) I hate the texture of toothpaste. And generally, it just feels like such a damn chore! I know, I know, it's gross, the thought of never brushing your teeth. It's gross to me too. (I'm not saying I don't brush, I just really don't like it). But I figure I could gurgle with mouth wash everyday instead. Maybe I wouldn't be scrubbing off plaque but at least my breath would be minty fresh!

Back in Time

If you could go back in history, as yourself, to live for one year at any point in history, what year would you choose and where would you go?

Oh so easy. I’d conjure up 1967 – the “Summer of Love” – put some flowers in my hair and head directly to San Francisco. I’d drop myself down at the corner of Haight and Ashbury. I’d seek out the Diggers, slip into the counterculture of that bohemian lifestyle, let myself be free, live communally, and join the fight for civil rights, women’s rights, free speech, free love, and the end of another shameful war. SO much was happening at that time. I've always wished that I could have been a young adult during that time. That if I could not have experienced it, that I could at least have been alive to witness it. So, I’d sit in; I’d smoke up; I’d dance in the park. I’d spend one blissful year living free and fighting to make the world a better place in an environment that fostered such total belief that change was possible. And that in reality did make a huge impact on so many of the freedoms we take for granted today. Yes, I would most definitely put some flowers in my hair and go to San Fransisco.

Bestseller Title

If you had to choose the title of your autobiography, what would it be?

Well, I’ve had the title of my bestselling book in my head for a long time now. I’ll share it but I’m calling dibs. I don’t want to see this title on someone else’s book!! And drum roll please………
The impending, bestselling, award-winning autobiography of Angela Simpson shall be entitled “Crazy in a Sane World”. Watch for it in book stores everywhere one day some day.